ladies who are waiting for the right man and not just any man

This article is dedicated to the ladies who are waiting for the right man and not just any man.

"Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, THEY'RE amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along. The one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree" - Author unknown.

I received this short poem in an email and I absolutely love this poem. It really helped me through a period of time when I was single for what seemed like an eternity. I know how it feels to go through a long period of singleness sometimes with no end in sight. It seems even worse when others are constantly reminding you of your singleness, as if you didn't remember. Don't you hate it when you catch up with an old friend and the first thing they ask is if you are married or found someone special yet? I have met women who seem to only judge your success on the basis of your marital /relationship status. You could have graduated magna cum laude from Harvard, opened a Fortune 500 company and that wouldn't even interest them. They're not interested because they only want to hear about your romantic life. Maybe it's not your friends pressuring you. It might be a nagging mother or other family members. Their behavior and attitude may begin to affect you to the point where you are ready to end your singleness at all cost. You are so desperate that you are ready to lower your standards and date the first person that comes along just so that you can have the title "In a Relationship". You are ready to put your morals and requirements away and "fall to the ground" so that you can have someone. If you have decided to date a man that is already in a relationship, engaged or married, then you have fallen. If you have decided to date a man that has no job, no car and no money on the horizon. If you have decided to date a man that doesn't meet your "must have" standards then you have fallen.

You should have standards and values. A man should know that you expect certain things from him and vice versa. It's like the old saying "if you stand for nothing you will fall for anything." If you are valuable that means that you will have values because you value yourself. Don't start lowering your standards or crossing your important qualifications off the list just for the sake of having a man. When I speak about important qualifications I am not talking about things like a man's age, height or the car he drives. You shouldn't exclude a man just because he is not 6 foot tall or because he isn't an Ivy League graduate, you should be flexible on things like that. Important qualifications are his ethics, core values and intellect. For example if you are strongly opposed to drug use you shouldn't start a relationship with a pot- head.

If you really want kids, you probably shouldn't start a relationship with a man who admittedly does not want children. Don't believe the lie that you can change him. So many women are unhappy because they are trying to change someone else. It's hard enough for me to change myself. Most people have a hard time with change. Think about this: how many times have you tried to change your spending habits, diet, etc. Just think of the many New Year's resolutions that you haven't been able to keep. Let's face it; change can be hard; the bottom line is, don't expect him to change for you. I am not saying it is impossible for him to change. I am saying that change is highly unlikely, especially when it comes to the big things. If he doesn't work, has never worked and hates to work, don't expect that he is going to get up and suddenly become gainfully employed just because you are now in his life.

You may be tired of seeing all the fallen apples getting picked before you. I can understand, I have been there where you see friends compromise what they believe in just so they won't have to spend Valentine's or a Saturday night without a date. Women who compromise themselves are probably going to be left disappointed in the end. They probably won't share their disappointment with you. They want it to appear that they are happy. But the reality is they are probably not. You are going to be better off in the long run if you take your time in selecting a partner. It is okay to embrace being alone it allows you clarity that you won't get from being in a relationship. If you hop from relationship to relationship you won't be able to learn what you really need to be happy. It takes time and reflection to seriously learn what you need in a relationship. Commit to staying on the tree and only allowing the right man to pick you.